Normally i like to begin with a scriptural reference to guide my blog, but all i have is a song lyric. I am nearly positive that it comes from scripture, but my tired mind and impatience is inhibiting my ability to find it...
Anyway, the song comes from the Paul Coleman Trio. A great band, seen them in concert twice, amazing both times. Unfortunately they broke up.
But that's neither here nor their. One of their songs, which i actually don't care for much, shows the desire to be like the moon.
I want to be the moon, it reflects the sun; don't want to be the stars and shine on everyone.
The moons purpose at night is to illuminate the sky by reflecting the light from the sun.
So Tuesday night, tonight, I was running around Zorinsky lake. I felt pretty good after an 8.65 mile run Sunday, skipped Monday, and set off to do about 10 miles or so. I pulled into the lake around 7:45. I have met a friend here many a time at 7:30, but never had it been that dark. It past the sunset as I set off. Zorinsky is very poorly lit. Except for the parking lots, the only real light you ever have is the moon.
Luckily for me, it was shining brighter than i have seen in a while. Just by reflecting the light of the sun, i could see the path during my entire run. It was amazing. I have never had such a peaceful jaunt. I started to think of that song. The importance of reflecting God's light and what not... pretty cheesy connection i know...
As I rounded mile number nine or so, i biker was riding towards me. Not an uncommon thing on a trail... yet he had a headlight on his bike. His own light blinded me. It made it so i could not see even a foot in front of me. Think about driving on a dark highway... if the person driving towards you, has their brights on, you cannot see much else...
As they passed, i slowly regained vision, focusing on the reflected light from the moon. Back to peace, back to safety, back to comfort.
So often I like to be the problem solver, the person you can trust, the person who will bring joy to situations and what not. Not because I want to be the best or because it think I am better than others, I just like to bring a light into people's eyes.
Is my light more like that annoying bikers? or is it actually God's light reflecting through me? As I look back, very often it is not God, it is me. I want to be a star and shine my light on everyone. God's light is perfect, it is much bigger and better than mine...
Who's light are you shining?
Lets focus on being like the moon, and not the stars... God is a better light, than all of us put together...
PS... i actually ran about 14.5 miles tonight... go me. more than i have run since January when i was running my marathon! Hope to keep it up!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Where I find my heaven...
Have you just ever had one of those days?
Man, today was one of those. Nothing seemed to go well. I was in a meeting for half of the day, I missed my plan time, which means, the time I normally spend making adjustments in class, grade, relax and prepare was gone. So I came back in the middle of my class... and nothing went well. The only good part was that I was able to get a run in with my x-country kiddos. But still now, I sit in my room with so much to do, I don't even want to start. Do you ever feel that way?
See this was supposed to end with our new youth director starting. Chad officially took the reigns of my job on Sunday. So I should have more time! Yet, it seems, there is even less.
Plus, I am growing cynical... I see the negatives in a lot of things. I find things to complain about. I am not normally this way, but for some reason, I have just been in that funk for a few days now.
Maybe its the loss of a job I really loved. Yeah, it was a lot of work, and yeah, I will be around just as much... but for some reason I feel empty, I feel alone, I feel distant...
All I seem to be hearing recently is bad news... failing health from close friends and their family... death of friends loved ones... surgery needed... other bad incidences...
Maybe, it takes me back to when I lost my dad last year. Things just seem to be not going well... they are not terrible, but you know... just not good.
Many of us can relate... we all go through parts of our life where things just kinda stink. Work is bothering you, kids demand every ounce of energy, friends and family offer attempts for solace, but everything seems to fall short....
I was listening to iTunes on my computer after practice... this song came on from the movie Dumb and Dumber... [thinking of the movie makes me smile :)]. The song plays as the guys travel to Aspen on the motor scooter. Its a song called Where I find my heaven by the Gigolo Aunts... yeah, weird I know...
The song has the underlying story that a guy is seeking his heaven, or his peace, through his daily life... the quiet desk lamp before a busy day, whispers and random silliness... all places where he find his peace, his Heaven.
It got me thinking, where is my Heaven? Where do I go for peace? Where do I go when the burden of life seems too much?
It took me over to another song of possibly my favorite band, Big Daddy Weave (in fact, one of their songs is the title of my blog site "Audience of One"). The song quotes a couple verses in Matthew 11: 28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
(Weird God sighting... We are supposed to read Matthew 11, if you are following Craig's one chapter a day reading plan! Holy Cow! God is awesome :))
Where is your heaven? Your true heaven should be laying your burdens at the alter. Yeah, spending time with family and friends is a short cure... I love hanging with my friends, in fact i am going to a concert with them tonight, and I love spending time with my mom and my family, but my issues are always waiting for me when i get back. The only way to find my true peace, my true heaven, is in the grace of God, and through his son, Jesus.
That's Where I find MY heaven... where do you find yours?
May blessings come upon your life and through your struggles. God is good, and God Loves You.
Man, today was one of those. Nothing seemed to go well. I was in a meeting for half of the day, I missed my plan time, which means, the time I normally spend making adjustments in class, grade, relax and prepare was gone. So I came back in the middle of my class... and nothing went well. The only good part was that I was able to get a run in with my x-country kiddos. But still now, I sit in my room with so much to do, I don't even want to start. Do you ever feel that way?
See this was supposed to end with our new youth director starting. Chad officially took the reigns of my job on Sunday. So I should have more time! Yet, it seems, there is even less.
Plus, I am growing cynical... I see the negatives in a lot of things. I find things to complain about. I am not normally this way, but for some reason, I have just been in that funk for a few days now.
Maybe its the loss of a job I really loved. Yeah, it was a lot of work, and yeah, I will be around just as much... but for some reason I feel empty, I feel alone, I feel distant...
All I seem to be hearing recently is bad news... failing health from close friends and their family... death of friends loved ones... surgery needed... other bad incidences...
Maybe, it takes me back to when I lost my dad last year. Things just seem to be not going well... they are not terrible, but you know... just not good.
Many of us can relate... we all go through parts of our life where things just kinda stink. Work is bothering you, kids demand every ounce of energy, friends and family offer attempts for solace, but everything seems to fall short....
I was listening to iTunes on my computer after practice... this song came on from the movie Dumb and Dumber... [thinking of the movie makes me smile :)]. The song plays as the guys travel to Aspen on the motor scooter. Its a song called Where I find my heaven by the Gigolo Aunts... yeah, weird I know...
The song has the underlying story that a guy is seeking his heaven, or his peace, through his daily life... the quiet desk lamp before a busy day, whispers and random silliness... all places where he find his peace, his Heaven.
It got me thinking, where is my Heaven? Where do I go for peace? Where do I go when the burden of life seems too much?
It took me over to another song of possibly my favorite band, Big Daddy Weave (in fact, one of their songs is the title of my blog site "Audience of One"). The song quotes a couple verses in Matthew 11: 28-30
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
(Weird God sighting... We are supposed to read Matthew 11, if you are following Craig's one chapter a day reading plan! Holy Cow! God is awesome :))
Where is your heaven? Your true heaven should be laying your burdens at the alter. Yeah, spending time with family and friends is a short cure... I love hanging with my friends, in fact i am going to a concert with them tonight, and I love spending time with my mom and my family, but my issues are always waiting for me when i get back. The only way to find my true peace, my true heaven, is in the grace of God, and through his son, Jesus.
That's Where I find MY heaven... where do you find yours?
May blessings come upon your life and through your struggles. God is good, and God Loves You.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Blessed is She
Matthew 5: 1-10 (NIV)
1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Fridays are usually very joyfilled for teachers. Usually lighter material for me, kids are pretty well behaved, and infact today I had a quiz, so it was quiter and easier than normal. Today was a good day, a refreshing day, a peaceful day. Except for one part.
We had a meeting with a parent today. I have had this parent now three times (well, three of her kids in a row). The first year was rough. Last year was alright. This year, I didn't know what to expect. We had a discussion earlier in the year about her son's struggles. You see, her son has extremely poor reading and comprehension abilities, because of poor choices that his birth mother made. This mother, was a foster mom. A foster mom of nine actually. All kids with varied needs. Some with high abilities, some with poor abilities, some who just need a safer and more stable environment.
In this meeting, we discussed the best possible options for her son. He was struggling, and she feared that he was not learning anything. She was also worried that frustration and bad behavior would come due to his growing struggles. She did not attack us, she wanted our input on how he was doing. Throughout the meeting I focused on her as she interated with my peers in the meeting. Several times she was near tears. She was so focused on how to help this child, doing whatever she could to teach, to ensure success. Her emotion nearly brought me to tears a few times.
Nothing truly came out of the meeting, except for a new understanding and some learning on my part. I have a greater respect for this woman. The time and effort she has devoted to her kids is nothing short of amazing. The conflicts we had in previous years were not out of anger at the teachers, but a drive to help her kids be as successful in our classes as they could be. She wants the best for her kiddos.
I wish all parents had that drive. Its something my parents had too, and I am forever grateful for it. I cannot think but how lucky those nine children are to have an advocate like she has.
She may not know it, but she models a biblical parenthood. An unconditional love that crosses all gaps.
I hope I remember her actions and the actions of my parents when I am with my future children, or my nieces or nephews, or even when I am at school.
Do I model biblical values? Do you? We should.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying:
3"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Fridays are usually very joyfilled for teachers. Usually lighter material for me, kids are pretty well behaved, and infact today I had a quiz, so it was quiter and easier than normal. Today was a good day, a refreshing day, a peaceful day. Except for one part.
We had a meeting with a parent today. I have had this parent now three times (well, three of her kids in a row). The first year was rough. Last year was alright. This year, I didn't know what to expect. We had a discussion earlier in the year about her son's struggles. You see, her son has extremely poor reading and comprehension abilities, because of poor choices that his birth mother made. This mother, was a foster mom. A foster mom of nine actually. All kids with varied needs. Some with high abilities, some with poor abilities, some who just need a safer and more stable environment.
In this meeting, we discussed the best possible options for her son. He was struggling, and she feared that he was not learning anything. She was also worried that frustration and bad behavior would come due to his growing struggles. She did not attack us, she wanted our input on how he was doing. Throughout the meeting I focused on her as she interated with my peers in the meeting. Several times she was near tears. She was so focused on how to help this child, doing whatever she could to teach, to ensure success. Her emotion nearly brought me to tears a few times.
Nothing truly came out of the meeting, except for a new understanding and some learning on my part. I have a greater respect for this woman. The time and effort she has devoted to her kids is nothing short of amazing. The conflicts we had in previous years were not out of anger at the teachers, but a drive to help her kids be as successful in our classes as they could be. She wants the best for her kiddos.
I wish all parents had that drive. Its something my parents had too, and I am forever grateful for it. I cannot think but how lucky those nine children are to have an advocate like she has.
She may not know it, but she models a biblical parenthood. An unconditional love that crosses all gaps.
I hope I remember her actions and the actions of my parents when I am with my future children, or my nieces or nephews, or even when I am at school.
Do I model biblical values? Do you? We should.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Today... As long as its still Today...
Hebrews 3: 12-13 "See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."(NIV)
Sorry for the sporadic postings... no excuses. I hope to make more regular postings from here on out.
This morning at Bible study, Stacy and I came across this verse. Its a passage in Hebrews that has never stuck out to me before... but today it hit me a little stonger than normal.
Its the idea of today. Encourage one another daily, as long as its called Today, so that none of you... I am going to use this a little out of context.
Daily, so that Today... doesn't make a lot of sense even as I look at it now.
I will refer back to a few days ago. I was sitting at Cross Country practice (ok, i was actually standing). It was a more difficult one, trying to build leg strength and cardio so that running will get easier, and the kiddos will continue to get better. There was a lot of whining and moaning and more than enough walking to make the old folks at the malls jealous.
The other coach and I had some growing frustrations. Afterwards we talked to the kids about getting better each day. That in order to get better at running, and make it easier, you have to actually try it. And after each day, it will get easier, you will be more comfortable and so on. It takes one day at a time...
Fast forward.
There have been things in my life that I struggle with lately. With the start of school, I've been busy, and I have neglected running, and my quiet devotional time. I have all these plans of how I am going to get better. That by next week, my long runs will be 15 miles, I will be reading so many chapters a day and I will spend time in deep prayer everyday...
Weeks later, and guess what, its not true.
See, there is a problem... the more I focus on the future... the less I am taking things as they are today. The same advice I gave my runners. What i need to do instead is focus on the here and now. I dont need to worry about my long runs in the week. Or doing a few strait weeks of my devo's. What i need to focus on is getting better today. If I focus on the todays... those weeks will fall into place.
May God focus your todays, that your tomorrows will wait for tomorrow.
Sorry for the sporadic postings... no excuses. I hope to make more regular postings from here on out.
This morning at Bible study, Stacy and I came across this verse. Its a passage in Hebrews that has never stuck out to me before... but today it hit me a little stonger than normal.
Its the idea of today. Encourage one another daily, as long as its called Today, so that none of you... I am going to use this a little out of context.
Daily, so that Today... doesn't make a lot of sense even as I look at it now.
I will refer back to a few days ago. I was sitting at Cross Country practice (ok, i was actually standing). It was a more difficult one, trying to build leg strength and cardio so that running will get easier, and the kiddos will continue to get better. There was a lot of whining and moaning and more than enough walking to make the old folks at the malls jealous.
The other coach and I had some growing frustrations. Afterwards we talked to the kids about getting better each day. That in order to get better at running, and make it easier, you have to actually try it. And after each day, it will get easier, you will be more comfortable and so on. It takes one day at a time...
Fast forward.
There have been things in my life that I struggle with lately. With the start of school, I've been busy, and I have neglected running, and my quiet devotional time. I have all these plans of how I am going to get better. That by next week, my long runs will be 15 miles, I will be reading so many chapters a day and I will spend time in deep prayer everyday...
Weeks later, and guess what, its not true.
See, there is a problem... the more I focus on the future... the less I am taking things as they are today. The same advice I gave my runners. What i need to do instead is focus on the here and now. I dont need to worry about my long runs in the week. Or doing a few strait weeks of my devo's. What i need to focus on is getting better today. If I focus on the todays... those weeks will fall into place.
May God focus your todays, that your tomorrows will wait for tomorrow.
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